I’ll start this out with a hallelujah for church.
I know that sounds weird, but at midnight last night, I was feeling pretty depressed and hopeless. Apathetic about my life. Negative.
Church this morning made me look at things in a different way.
Yes, just for me (LOL), God sent a sermon on marriage and relationships.
Actually our church is doing a sermon series on relationships, and I’m sure it could be said that everyone thought the sermon was for them. Who doesn’t have some sort of relationship? And all relationships have something. Something to deal with.
Bottom line, as Christians, we are to love one another. We are to do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. We are, like Christ, to empty ourselves.
True love puts off self-interest.
It’s the 1 Corinthians 13 definition, which is the definition of selflessness.
Nothing I don’t already know.
BUT GOD… IT IS SO HARD!!! God, I know what I’m supposed to do. I just don’t have that kind of strength.
I KNOW you don’t have that strength on your own… but you CAN do all things through me.
Bleh. I need the instruction manual. The blow-by-blow. TELL me how to do this??
Love. Just love.
What?? But he…
Love. Just love. It’s simple. I didn’t say it was easy, but it’s pretty simple. Just go back and
read the instruction manual… 1 Corinthians 13; Colossians 3… well, just read that whole chapter. There are lots of other places in my manual. Just keep reading. Keep praying. And stop with the expectations. I’ve got a plan, and it is awesome. Trust me.
I’m hurt. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I just don’t want to risk more hurt..
What did I do for you? I risked it all, I gave it all. Just love. Trust me.
Alright… so love. I’m supposed to die to myself, and put others before me. Isn’t that what I’ve been trying to do? I’m supposed to have patience and forbearance… How long? What’s the difference between that and just stuffing down all these hurts?
It’s because I first loved you.
I know, Lord. But at this point, it feels so fake to affirm him and say nice things. It feels so fake for him to suddenly be affectionate.
Why are you here on earth? (Come on, you’ve been reading The Purpose Driven Life… think hard!)
To glorify you, God.
How can you do that in your current circumstances?
Through my marriage. So hard, Lord…
Just do it. I know it’s not easy, but you’ve got to trust me, it’s the only way. I’ve got your back.