We want it, guys.
Yes, your wife of two, three, four, and even more decades still wants you to seduce her. Romance her. In a sense, to claim her as yours (and please, for a moment, remove the Caveman image from your mind).
Maybe you say it’s hard to come up with new ideas. Maybe you think it’s not worth the effort? The key is, it’s all in the simplicity.
- Kiss her as you normally don’t: behind her ear, her temples, her wrist, her palm, her shoulder, behind her knee, her big toe, tip of the nose; anywhere different than the normal cheek or lips! (but not to the exclusion of these)! A big one… sweep the hair from the nape of her neck and plant a soft kiss.
- Kiss her where you normally don’t: in an elevator, as you open the car door for her
(you do this, don’t you?), as she works in the kitchen (or wherever she works…), as you hold her chair out at the restaurant.
- Kiss her how you normally don’t: a peck on the forehead; while holding her hands behind her; while holding her hands behind you; while cupping her backside with your hands; up against the wall; up against the wall with hands held above her, pinning her with your body. Oh yeah. Hot.
- The face: Explore every minute detail of her face with your fingertips, with the backs of your knuckles, cupped in your palms as you look into her eyes, chin tilted up to your mouth. Brush your thumb across her lips (before or after a kiss is nice). Slowly, lightly, sweetly.
- Touch and play with her hair (and head): Hand to head is one of the most intimate gestures in physical touch between humans, before heading down the road to sexual touch. Most of us like to have our hair played with, fingers run through, gathered in your hand (as you deliver above kiss), even tugged a little (no, not as we are heading out the door all dressed up for the day or evening; if the hair is a bit stiff, well… we just want it to stay that way for a reason–I know, this can be tricky, but I have confidence you’ll figure it out). I once watched a young husband at church in front of us take a tendril of her hair in the back of her head, and twist it in his fingers, for like 30 minutes straight. While IMHO it was a highly inappropriate touch during church, and that 30 minutes was overdoing it, there’s something to be said for fingers in her hair. It’s sexy. It makes most of us feel adored. Want to be sure? Just suggest, “I want to run my fingers through your hair…” and watch her reaction.
- Ask if you can brush her hair. Sure, she may give you a “what’s wrong with you?” look, but trust me, if you are careful to make it slow and seductive, she’ll love it. Bonus points for you if you can make a loose braid. I don’t know why, but we women love this and it’s probably why we spend good money at hair salons having people wash, cut, brush, style and dry our hair. It’s why girlfriends play with each other’s hair. It feels good. And when it’s YOU, it feels sexy. (one exception here: really curly hair does not like brushes…)
- Just touch. I love my back scratched, and feel so loved and pampered when SJ does this for me. Stroking, caressing, rubbing, light feather touches, playful swats–all count. When I was recovering from a painful surgery, I was astonished how his caresses released some healing endorphins to offset the pain. Others feel this feel-good rush from “impact” touch. We all crave touch.
- Sweet Nothings: when’s the last time you called your wife a sweet name? I mean sweet and lovely, not trite or silly. Honey and Darling probably have been overdone. Pumpkin makes us thing we’re married to Peter the Pumpkin Eater. If you’re stuck, think of a feature you love about her. Or, just Google this!!! (American guys, you need to up your game here– the foreign guys have TONS of adorable pet names, and yeah, we melt…)
- Create a new atmosphere once in a while: whether it’s dinner, a picnic, star gazing, watching a movie in your living room, the bath tub, or the bedroom. Introducing soft romantic music, candlelight, or flowers (or petals– geez, we are suckers for this) will always feel seductive. A blanket for two to cuddle under.
- Prepare something for her that pampers her: Make her favorite cocktail, popcorn, smoothie, ice cream sundae, coffee in the morning, and serve it to her. Give her a candlelight massage. Run the bath, add a nice scent, light candles and maybe even sprinkle some rose petals on the water. Add a glass of wine or an herbal tea and tell her to relax. Don’t be surprised if she invites you to join her. Maybe smile cryptically and tell her you want her to get really relaxed for later…
- Bring her silly little gifts: it doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to show her that you were thinking of her while you were apart, and that you “know” her guilty pleasures: a pack of her favorite gum, a dark chocolate bar, a Starbucks drink, her favorite movie candy; a cupcake or bakery cookie, a flavored chapstick, a nail polish, maybe a silly stuffed animal. The really romantic guy knows (and gifts) her size of panties, bra, nightie, slippers, etc., and whether or not she’s a Victoria’s Secret, Lane Bryant or Target fan.
- Texts: Yes, we love the random loving or naughty texts. With emojis. 🙂 Again, it lets us know you’re thinking about us.
- Love notes: Leave her little love notes around the house (SJ does this with sticky notes when one of us had gone out of town, I love it). Write a love letter, send it the old-fashioned way (to works or home, as appropriate), snail mail!
- Set the scene: You probably think you know what she likes–or maybe you’ve not been thinking? You may wonder if she’d like something new, different. Uhm, chances are, she would welcome a little spice. Ask about her fantasy, nearly all of us have them. If she demurs, tell her the basics of a bedroom fantasy you have for you both, and ask if she trusts you to arrange it and guide it. Most women will find this exciting– the unknown elements of a seduction, something out of the ordinary. Just don’t scare her with moves she’s not ready for, small steps are best (yes, with someone they trust, some women “like it rough,” intense, or with some kink, but we sometimes are a bit afraid at the same time. You need to reassure us…). Many of us like it when you “take over” (and, perhaps some don’t…). Set your bedroom (or other room) stage: props, setting, sound, lighting, costumes… maybe assign characters–and invite her as your leading lady. Take her on a fantasy ride for a thrilling evening, where you’re in charge. Learn about her inner nymph, or kink, or shy girl. And then talk about it later to learn what was good, not good, or begs a definite encore performance!
A man who waits until Valentine’s Day to treat his lady like his Queen is failing 364 days a year.
Seduce. Touch. Claim. Renew. Reap the benefits.
Never stop seducing your wife. Treat her like your Queen, and she will make you her King.
“What about what husbands want?” I hear some asking. I know some of my husband’s favorites; why don’t give me your ideas, men (aside from the obvious between the sheets)? What moves seduce YOU? AND, if your wife is asking you to read this… maybe it’s time to take it up a few notches and get your seduction game on!